Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
