brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
