If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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