Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
