i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
