Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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