i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
