Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
