I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
