I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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