I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
