I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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