careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
