Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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