you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
