I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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