i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
