If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize