you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
