so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
