He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
