I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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