anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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