if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I look better un-naked...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i came on her dog
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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