If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
