is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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