i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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