For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
