So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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