If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
