Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
