I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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