Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
