I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
