So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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