why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
