Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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