This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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