Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
