why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
