If i come over, it means nothing
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
