420 ftw
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
