I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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