I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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