By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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