Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
