I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
