so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
