Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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