Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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