got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
