so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
