Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
