YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
