So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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