idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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