i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize