I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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