Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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