no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
